Mothering Earns Title of “Ultimate Dead End Job”

After a comprehensive look at over 12,000 careers this year, the job of “Mothering” emerged as the clear victor once again in achieving the title of “2017’s Ultimate Dead End Job.”  This victory marks the 5,000th win for Mothering, having exclusively held the honorary title since recorded history.

In past centuries, mothering has only come against one serious challenger, “Leech Collector” of the Victorian era.  Once the distinction was made that the term “dead-end” was not to confused with “ending in death,” no other career was able to challenge the lack of mobility offered in Motherhood.  

Researchers have consistently found that no other job offers absolutely no promotions, no growth opportunities, no weekends, no annual leave, no lunch break, no bathroom breaks, no bosses over the age of 9, no monetary compensation, and little-to-no respect.  In spite of being a clear dead-end winner, the job remains a popular choice, outliving other dead-end jobs like plague burier, ice cutters, bowling pinsetter, switchboard operators, and people who sell anything you can get on Amazon. Simply put, Mothering stands alone as the worst job that nearly every woman wants.

One mother from the study stated that, “I feel like I am a hamster on a wheel, that is, of course, if that hamster had to run on the wheel 24/7 whilst keeping 4 other people alive.”  Another commented that, “It is the only job I have had that favors wiping asses over (metaphorically) kissing them. At least in the latter scenario, the boss is appreciative.”

Ironically, all the women that participated in the study refused compensation in exchange for their children.  After several hours of listing the worst aspects of their jobs, all responded with the phrase, “I wouldn’t change it for the world.”

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